


Unanswered

by EA_Lakambini



Series: Orbital Resonance: GOC2020 [15]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 5+1 Things, Good Omens Celebration 2020, Letters, M/M, Questions, Some angst, Some pining, through history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24209236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EA_Lakambini/pseuds/EA_Lakambini
Summary: 5 letters Crowley wrote to Aziraphale that were never sent, and 1 that was.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Orbital Resonance: GOC2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725724
Comments: 13
Kudos: 38
Collections: Good Omens Celebration





	Unanswered

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I'm so late to the party, but this was one of those stories that refused to get written until I had already missed the deadline. So sorry about that!
> 
> Prompt: through the years.

_1\. A small clay tablet_

Aziraphale,

You left the ark before I could speak to you again. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you – I’m a demon, demonic strangeness and all – but I find myself wishing that I could. Perhaps you would understand me in this way instead.

I couldn’t let those children die. They never asked to be born, and they certainly never asked to be wiped out for the faults of people who were supposed to be wiser than they. They didn’t take up that much space on the ark, anyway, so no harm done, right? Besides, who is to say what they shall be once they grow into adulthood? They could become the greatest sinners of their generation, perhaps, but they could also become devoted followers of your Almighty; you never know. Ineffable, so you rather insufferably say.

Why would you not grant them that chance to be? (I got in trouble for asking questions before, and I suppose I may again, but I figured you would not smite me for asking because you gave your sword away, anyway.)

Crawley

_2\. A sh_ _eet of papyrus_

Angel,

Really? You weren’t consulted on policy decisions, so you decided to just… stand back and watch?

I remember asking you before – all right, I suppose it doesn’t count, because I never actually sent that message to you – why people had to suffer for the faults that they did not commit. I now wonder if I should have asked you again; maybe if I had, you could have reasoned with your side, and stopped that young carpenter from being tortured so. (But Heaven has shown they’re not above drowning hundreds of people, so I doubt they’ll spare one more.)

It doesn’t make much sense, why I find myself writing this to you. Perhaps seeing you there again just reminded me of your kindness to me, when you protected me from the rain of Eden. Still, if being kind to each other will lead to such barbarism as what we saw on Golgotha, then maybe it’s for the best that you are not so kind to me, after all. You linger in my thoughts long after we part, you come up with rather annoying names for me (those other demons you mentioned are just not as fashionable as me, _honestly_ ), and you just _had_ to remind me that I was a snake, didn’t you?

\- Crowley (please take note that _that_ is my correct name, and the correct spelling, too.)

_3\. A thin vellum parchment_

Angel,

It was good to see you today, even though your choice of production left much to be desired. Why you put up with the gloomy ones is beyond me. (But you put up with me, and I am far worse, so perhaps I should be grateful instead.)

I don’t know if I should be offended either that you insist that we do not know each other. We’ve had nearly 500 years of working together, and several thousand of just existing but still together. Is it such a terrible idea, our being friends? To be or not to be is the question, indeed.

(Whether or not I see you as my friend is _not_ the question. Unfortunately, the question for me at this point is if I can content myself with being merely your friend, when I find myself longing for something else.)

Stay safe in Edinburgh. ~~I will miss you.~~ When you’re done there, perhaps we can watch Hamlet again? I assure you that it will still be playing when you return ~~to me~~.

Sincerely,

Crowley

_4._ _A folded sheet of newsprint_

You absolute bastard,

Fraternizing? Is that all there is to this?

I don’t know how to prove to you that I didn’t ask for what I asked because I’ve lost hope. On the contrary, I need it because I am hoping that I will always find my way back to you, no matter what Hell sends after me.

And yes, I lied to you earlier; I do need you. You cannot possibly know how much, but I thought that, on some level, you could understand.

But that isn’t how you see it at all, is it? It all comes back to what Heaven wants, and you will always return to them. Do I matter so little to you, then?

Too many questions. Too many, even for me. If this is your way of being kind, then please stop. Let everything stop, just for a while.

C.

_5\. A thick, slightly spattered cardstock_

Angel,

I’m writing this now with your tartan thermos next to me, so I think this means that we’ve officially run out of time. The forces of Hell are after me, and I won’t give in without a fight, but what happens next? I tried to tell you, I tried to keep you safe, I tried to take you someplace where we could escape from it all – I tried everything, and still you’re so goddamn stubborn. _Why_ are you like this??

And _damn me to whatever circle of Hell I haven’t fallen through yet,_ why can’t I stop caring?

Look, if they come for me and my insurance isn’t enough, I have to tell you somehow. If this is how the world ends, then let this be the last letter I’ll ever write. I love you, Aziraphale – I’ve loved you for hundreds of years, probably longer (when I couldn’t define or explain why I kept returning to you). I enjoy the pleasures of this world and would fight for it to survive for another 6,000 years, but there is nothing I enjoy about it more than the fact that it is where I am with you.

Yours (as I always have been),

Crowley

_+1. A sheet of smooth stationery_

Aziraphale,

I still haven’t quite fathomed everything that has happened, but I’m honestly not complaining. I’m not asking any more questions, either. All I care about is that you’re still alive, and you’ve chosen our side. You’ve chosen to let me love you – and you chose to love me back, which is more than I could have ever thought I could deserve.

If what we plan to do actually works, I’ll see you at our usual bench in Berkeley Square. You’ll know; I’m putting this note in my jacket, and I’m sure you’ll find it once we switch.

Time to leave the garden and into the world that is ours. No matter what happens, Aziraphale, I will come back to you. Thank you for giving us the chance to be.

Eternally yours,

Crowley

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for dropping by!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Unanswered](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28505619) by [Djapchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djapchan/pseuds/Djapchan)




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